red dining room

welcome back to the gentleman's gazette. today's video is all about table manners. we provide you with the ultimate guide tothe basic dining etiquette so you don't embarrass yourself and get ahead in life. this is part 1 of an ongoing series aboutetiquette so please check out the other videos in our playlist. table manners are actually something yourparents taught you but are actually far more important as an adult. first of all, your table manners speak volumesabout your refinement and it's often interpreted

as a sign of character. it's not at all about being snobby or showingoff but much rather to show respect, your host and your dining partners will greatlyappreciate your manners. good table manners are proof of your socialskills and because of that, they are often part of an interview process for higher-endpositions or people where you have a lot of client contact. just the other day, i talked to an entrepreneur,he only hires people after he had lunch, dinner, and a drink with them because he wants tosee how they react in different situations. without proper manners, he won't get the jobthat's for sure.

table manners also help you so you don't embarrassyourself or otherwise draw any kind of negative attention to you. last but not the least, table manners makeother people feel comfortable in your presence and therefore help to keep up the flow ofconversation and entertainment which is the main part of dining together with other people. it's very important to keep in mind, propertable manners aways help you and never hurt you. the good thing is they can be learned andits never too late to do so. so what are table manners?

basically, they are reactions and the behaviorat the dining table. in this day and age, you encounter a lot ofinformal dining situations, but that never means that table manners are not requiredor appropriate. for example, a bbq should never be an excuseto chew with your mouth open and make noises like a pig. after all, we're all civilized people. the rules do's and don'ts we discuss in thevideo today apply to every basic dining situation out there that involves silverware. for more in-depth situations, about very formaldinners with multiple courses with lots of

silver and glassware stay tuned for anothervideo. also, before you can sit down at the diningtable, usually there's an invitation, there's an rsvp, there's a gift, and we cover allof the before and the after in our etiquette rules in a different video. let's focus and what happens when you sitdown at the dinner table. i suggest you turn your cell phone ringeroff when you enter someone else's home and put your phone in your pocket when you'rewith the guests. don't leave your phone on the table becauseyou are much more likely to pick it up and look at it which is impolite in the presenceof other people.

if the table is all set, you don't just walkin and sit down. wait to be seated or wait for the queue ofthe host, or if they sit, you can sit as well. ideally, want to sit up straight but comfortably,don't slouch, or cross your arms, or sit as you would on your couch while watching a footballgame. don't expect to sit next to your partner andfollow the lead of the hosts. traditionally, couples were always mixed upto sit with different people; oftentimes, man, woman, man, woman, just so you wouldcreate an interesting way to stimulate conversation. if there's a napkin on the plate or next toa plate, put it on your lap right away. if the host or hostess wants to say grace,accept the gesture for what it is and move

along. at the same time, do not offer to say graceyourself because people may not be religious at all. two, let's take a look at the place setting. in the western world, an informal place willalways have at least a plate, a knife, and a fork. if dessert will be served, you'll find eithera little fork or a spoon on the top side of the plate. if soup is served or anything else that requiresa spoon, you will also have a spoon.

at more formal dinners, place settings canbe a lot more elaborate with several sets of silverware and a general rule of thumbis to always work your way from the outside in but we'll talk much more about that inour formal dining guide video take a look here. on the top right of the plate, you'll likelyfind a water glass which is always filled and a wine glass which is empty to begin with. sometimes you also find beer glasses; if youprefer that, if that's what's served with a meal. if you see little plate with an extra knifeon a top left to your plate, that's for bread

and butter. again, silverware is arranged from the outsidein so you see two forks and two knives that means you start with the outermost fork andthe outermost knife; that's usually for the appetizer or the starter course. when you're done with the course, you placethe fork and a knife at a four to five o'clock angle that means you're done. if you're not done yet, you can have it inthis position or in that position, that indicates that you're not finished eating yet. do not put the used silverware back on thetablecloth or the table and simply put it

on the plate so it can be taken away. trust me, your host thought about it and theyput together the place setting and everything has a reason. in restaurants in the us, you often encountertwo forks on the left and one knife on the right, in that case, use the outermost forkon the left and the knife on the right to eat your starter course and then request anew knife whether it's a steak knife or a regular knife for your main course. three, now it's time to serve the food. most informal dinners are family-style meaningthere are bowls or platters where food is

served from. for formal dinners, courses are usually platedbut we talk about the intricacies of that in our formal dining etiquette video here. with bowls and anything at the table, thecardinal rule is don't reach over anybody else and don't touch them. to start, pass the bowl around the table fromthe left to the right when you get the bowl you hold it and you serve yourself then youpass it on to your neighbor on the right. always use the serving utensils and neveryour silverware that's on your place setting. of course if the host or hostess have a differentidea, go with what they do.

if you like seconds later on or if you wantsalt, simply ask for it and don't reach it unless it's right in front of you. if someone asks you for either salt or pepper,always pass both things together. when you serve yourself, be reasonable, youcan count how many people are at the table and everyone want something so don't pileit up on your plate. you never want to take more than your fairshare and keep in mind there will likely be seconds. always be open-minded about the food beingserved even if you think you don't like something the hosts likely put a lot of effort intothe meal and you should always at least try

it. just put a little bit on your plate and try;if you suffer from severe food allergies you should tell the host before the dinner iscooked so that they can make the proper arrangements. four, finally it's time to eat. you should only start eating when everyoneelse has been served and a host or hostess starts to take their fork and take the lead. it is very impolite and sometimes even rudeto just dig into your plate of food while the others are still empty-handed. when it comes to eating with silver, they'rebasically two schools of thought.

one is the american way, and one is the continentalway. with american way, you hold the fork in yourright hand and you eat that way. if you cut off something, you transfer thefork to your left hand and have the knife in your right hand. when you're done cutting place the knife ontop of the plate or on a knife rest if it's available and then you transfer your forkfrom the left to the right again and eat. because it's back and forth, it's also knownas the zigzag method. on the other hand with the continental method,you hold the fork in the left hand and a knife in the right hand.

that way, there's no switching of back andforth. bboth the american and the continental methodare perfectly acceptable. personally, i prefer the continental versionsimply because i don't have to switch back and forth and so i can focus more on the conversationrather than having to pay attention to my plate. even within the continental school of thought,there are differences in how you put the food to your mouth. basically, you hold your fork, you hold itto the left hand more like a pencil, however, when you switch to cutting something, youturn the fork around 180 degrees.

for example, if you cut a piece of meat, youcan leave the fork in a cutting position and move it right to your mouth that way it'scurved down, or you can switch it up and bring the fork to your mouth with it facing up. both styles are acceptable when it comes tospoon. basically, everything that is served in abowl or a boolean cup is supposed to be eaten with a spoon. the key is to be comfortable with whatevermethod you use it should always look effortless feel free to practice at home until it hasreally become a part of who you are so you never have to think about it twice.

so the big question is what to do with yourelbows? as a general rule don't put your elbows on your table when you're eating because it'sconsidered to be impolite instead leave your wrists on the table when you're chewing orif you go with the american method you can also keep your hand on your lap now in betweencourses or if you have a conversation after, it's totally fine to have your elbows on thetable just make sure that your body language is engaged and not slouching. when eating with company, pace is very important. the goal is to have a great flowing conversationand because of that you should neither eat too slow nor too fast.

something that i sometimes struggle with isspeed; i eat way too fast so company really helps me to slow down and engage in conversationthat way, i can enjoy the food and the company at the same time a good indicator are alwaysthe people around you or your host or hostess so neither too fast or too slow as a generalrule cut up the pieces of food as you eat them don't cut up everything before and theneat it piece by piece that's only something you would do for a little child not for agrown person also take small bites and chew them and swallow them completely before youtake the next bite. always eat with their mouth closed and avoidmaking any chewing noises. years ago i used to eat a lot more salt than i do now and soi always made assumptions about the food and

heavily salt it before i tried it don't bethat guy why? if a hiring manager sees that you salt yourfood before you try it they let you believe that you make assumptions rather than makedecisions based on fact and they're less likely to give you the job even in a personal settingit can be disrespectful to just salt your food without having tried it in the firstplace of course if you've tried a food that it's underseasoned to your taste ask for saltand pepper and it should be better. now it's also a great time to compliment thehost or on their table arrangements their food may be the choice of their wine or somethingthat you genuinely like make sure you're sincere because otherwise, people will notice if someoneasks you a question while you're still chewing,

finish chewing and then answer. likewise, don't ask others questions whilethey're still chewing because it may put them in the awkward situation for yourself to chewfor 10-15 seconds that creates awkward pauses. if bread is served with dinner it's likelyserved in a basket on a bowl and you pass it around just like any other serving rollfrom the left to the right if you get the bowl you take a piece of bread you put itin your plate and you pass it on or put it back in its spot most of the time butter isserved with bread put some butter on your plate with a butter knife that is clean neveruse a knife or a silverware that has been used depending on a country you're in, eatingbread can also be different in the u.s. most

people will butter their entire bread thenpick it up by hand and take a bite and put the bread back. ingermany for example that would be a faux pas instead you would take a piece of bread breakit off by hand put a little piece of butter from your plate onto the bread eat it andthen continue later on with breaking the bread and butter in it and then eating it so ifyou travel abroad be aware of the cultural differences and try to be cognizant of themand respect them if you end up with excess food in your mouth use a napkin on your lapto wipe it off right away make sure to always use just one napkin and stick with it otherwiseyouwill stain your clothes if something gets

stuck in your teeth don't just sit there usea toothpick or try to wipe it off when other people are there the worst thing you can dois hold up your hand and try to get rid of it using your finger and maybe make awkwardnoises instead excuse yourself go to the rest room make yourself look presentable maybeuse a toothpick if one is available for example in austria you find toothpicks even at thefinest restaurants versus in germany toothpicks are not something you'll commonly encounteron a table if you need to use a toothpick it's always safer not to do so in public orat the table so how should you excuse yourself if you mustleave because you expect an urgent call and you have to go there a restroom simply sayexcuse myself i'll be right back please don't

explain why you have to leave what the reasonis or that you just had four beers earlier and that you really have to pee that's justnot an appropriate conversation at the time so while getting up from your chair fold yournapkin and place it to the left on your plate or on the chair no it doesn't have to be foldedlike before just make sure it looks neat also push your chair right back in my wife alwaysgets annoyed with me if i don't put my chair back if you ever have to leave the table makesure to keep it short and five minutes max otherwise it's very rude and impolite to stayaway from longer than that now all that being said here are some thingsyou should never do when eating never use your fingers to eat food of the plate or especiallyput your last bit of food onto the fork instead

use a knife i see a lot of people making thatmistake but it's completely unnecessary because you have all of the utensils at your disposallikewise never lick your fingers or your fork or your plate afterwards even though it'sreally really tasty do not use your fork to cut something up i see it time and time againwhere people are too lazy to pick up their knife and then they just try to push downbut it's just shows that you don't have proper table manners also don't flatten your foodi distinctly remember my grandpa always kind of smashing down everything and flatteningout on his table because he wanted his food to cool down faster so he could eat fasterit's just a bad look and it creates a bad vibe.

now that we talked about eating a lot abouteating what about drinking as a rule of thumb you should never drink unless your host hasraised a glass to a toast or started drinking themselves typically you toast with wine orchampagne maybe with beer but definitely not with water or pop if there's stemmed glasson the table you should hold them by the stem don't let the host or other guests dictateof how much alcohol you drink you know your limits and it's okay to say no thank you orto simply not continue drinking your glass even though it's still full or half full don'tget wasted and keep your consumption moderate you don't want to be the odd guy out who getshammered when he's invited over for dinner because it will likely be the last invitationfor you generally you should not ask for more

wine or beer a good host will notice thatyour glass is empty and offer you more if they have more now as i said before the main goal of havingdinner and company is to have a great conversation and so your body language and how you converseare very important it all starts with your voice moderate the volume of it so you don'tscream because that can be very unpleasant let other people finish talking and ask interestingquestions and then listen if you behave well and you're very entertaining you may evenend up with a compliment if you want to learn how to accept one a graceful way please checkout this video here. at the end of a meal just fold your napkinand place it next to your plate never put

it on the plate now most people will nevercall out bad table manners in person however they will reflect poorly on you and you maynot be invited back or your invitations may be rebuffed now that you're equipped withthis table etiquette knowledge you probably know more than the average person out therehowever that doesn't mean that you should chastise others about their table mannersor even worse criticize the host or tell them what to do especially in a public settingbecause it's very embarrassing instead always be kind be generous ask questions listen bea good sport and smile in today's video i'm wearing two suit separatesthe jacket of one which is a brown and blue prince of wales check and a blue pair of pantsfrom another suit together they work quite

well i'm combining them with another pairof brown oxfords that are half brogues with a hand finish patina i tie everything togetherwith a pair of brown and light blue socks one from fort belvedere that'll pick up thecolor of the jacket and separate the shoes from the pants my shirt is plain white witha classic color and button barrel cuffs my tie is made of english madder silk and thepattern ties together my shirt as well as the pattern of my jacket provides enough contrastand the pattern stands out from the background the tie is from fort belvedere i designedit and you can fin it in our shop here just like the pocket square which is likewise fromfort belvedere i chose a burgundy color that picks up the blue and yellow tones of thetie the jacket and the shoes as well as the

pants and i chose a silk wool combinationthat ties together the flannel material of the jacket with the shiny or silk textureof the tie my right ring finger i'm wearing a gold ring with a dark star sapphire thatchanges the look in the light if you enjoyed this video give us a thumbs up and hit a littlebell so more videos inbox

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